My husband and I decided that we wanted to marry young. Him at 24 and me at 21. Some people were so excited for us to begin our new journey, others were wary of our decision and although they didn’t voice them, I could tell they had their doubts. Marriage isn’t all about a lavish wedding and happily ever after, so with that in mind, I thought I would give some tips for couples marrying young.
Prepare for your marriage AND your wedding.
A wedding lasts one day. Marriage lasts a life time. Instead of getting caught up in napkin colours, seating arrangements and the DREADED guest list, take some time out to prepare for your marriage. You could get some pre marriage counselling, take a course or read a book together. My favorite book for this is Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married.
Don’t expect things to be easy.
No matter how hard you try, you really can’t prepare fully for marriage. Sometimes you’ll wake up and think you married an angel sent straight from heaven and other times… well, we won’t go there! Remember to stick it at. Some days may seem really bad, but remember that every sunrise is a new opportunity.
Learn about the love languages.
Figuring out what your spouse is saying in English can be hard enough sometimes but did you know that people also have love languages? These are how you show love to others, and how you feel loved by others. My top love languages are gift giving, words of affirmation and quality time, so if any of these areas are violated or neglected, I feel so too. Once you learn the love languages of each other, it makes it so much easier to show love how to your partner in a way that connects with them the most. Take the test to find yours here. (http://www.5lovelanguages.com)
Learn about the apology languages.
Just like the love languages, people consider different forms of apologies to hold different weight. Recently, my husband and I had a disagreement and although he said the words, I didn’t consider it an apology. Once you learn how each other values different apologies, making up becomes so much easier.
Remember to date your spouse.
Marriage is a lot of work and often bills, work, kids and whatever else can get in the way. Remember to set aside time with your spouse to go out for dinner or even watch a movie at home.
Get financially sorted.
And I don’t mean you need to be rich. Some people believe that you have to own a house, and have a great job to get married. You definitely don’t! At the time we got married, I was a student and so we lived off my husband’s income alone. Although you don’t need lots of money, you should have some good habits put in place. Decide with your partner how much of your incomes you want to spend, save and give away to save disagreements and to avoid financial problems down in the future!
Spend some time alone and with your own friends.
We all know that couple who get together and are never seen by their friends ever again. Don’t be them. Make time to hang out with friends and spend some time alone too. If you have hobbies and sports, don’t give up on them but prioritize them.
Find other married couples that you can talk honestly with.
Getting married young means that you might not have many friends that are married too. This is so important though! Having other married couples that you can talk honestly with both all together, and man to man, woman to woman is fantastic. A lot of couples go through very similar struggles. Knowing that you’re not alone and getting some advice is such a great help!
Learn to sacrifice.
A large portion of marriage is built on sacrifice. Don’t get scared about it either. Sacrifice can often come with negative connotations. Yes, you will have so give some things up to benefit your marriage, but the blessings far outweigh the disadvantages. Learn to willingly sacrifice things in order to bless your relationship.
Get ready for questions about pregnancy.
On a less serious note, if you’re young and get engaged, so many people assume you’re pregnant or at least want to be. I had so many people say to me that they bet I’ll have a baby by the end of the year, or implying that I was already pregnant. One lady even rubbed my stomach asking if there was a baby in there! Sorry to disappoint folks, no baby on the way yet. Smile and nod, the questions will never end.
I hope some of these tips were helpful for you all. Getting married young isn’t the easiest but has so many great benefits. I wouldn’t have it any other way!